1993 self portrait

She was tall, blonde, tan, athletic, beautiful, and arrogant confident.  He was interested in her at the same time I was wooing him a year earlier.  But I was long before jealous of her, mostly because I just felt unworthy to exist in the same space she did.

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first year bliss

And so was the first year of our relationship… dreamy, perfect, righteous, supportive, and more than I could have ever hoped for or felt deserving of.  We filled that year with wishes of being older and closer to being married.  Like all young pups, we thought we were ready to take on the world together, despite our ages and lack of life experience.

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Angela DiGiovanni | Author of The Virgin Wife ChroniclesShortly after the “I love you”, we accidently spent the night together.

The loft in Chad’s parent’s house was a haven for us, where we spent a lot of our time, undisturbed.  His parents trusted us and kept to themselves downstairs and his brother was away at school.  Many great conversations took place in that loft – and in the years to come, a lot of fights and a lot of making up and making out.

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Chad in his Red Honda CRX

On our first date he picked me up in his cool red Honda CRX. The year was 1992.  He was totally dreamy – a goldenly handsome, gentlemanly Christian boy. I knew I was the envy of many well deserving girls in our church. And I had only recently stood in their shoes, envying his beautiful ex.

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The Virgin Wife ChroniclesIt was our wedding night.  My bathroom felt like some kind of purgatory as I hesitantly slipped into my virginal, flowing white lingerie.  Why was I stalling?  Why was I nauseous?  Why did the walls feel like they were slowly moving in on me?

Hadn’t this been the sacred moment we’d been holding out for?  Seven years in the making of controlling our youthful lusts?

*************

We hadn’t told anyone our whole first year of marriage. 

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